A teacher conference may be the best way to find out what is really happening academically for your child, BOTH GOOD AND BAD – and don’t let your teen talk you out of one if you feel it is really needed!  If a conference is not scheduled and you feel one is needed, please feel free to contact your teen's instructor.

The following are some tips on how to get the most positive results from a conference:

• Before making the call to request a conference, take the time to figure out why your teen is having problems in school. Are extracurricular activities eating up too much time outside of school? Is there a personality conflict with the teacher? Has the family recently experienced some type of change or crisis? You are the one who knows the most about what may be affecting your teen. Your insight can be very helpful.
• It is easy during conferences to get off subject and not cover some of your concerns. Before you go into the conference, write down the important points or questions you want to discuss. Also, take a pad and pen along to jot down new questions or concerns that may come up during the conference.
• If it is reasonable, ask that your teen be included in the conference. A young adult is much more likely to feel like turning things around if he or she is considered to be a mature and capable participant in the process. If your teen cannot be included in the conference, make sure that afterwards you explain exactly what was discussed and what, if anything, is expected of him or her.
• If your teen’s teacher or counselor tells you something that is disappointing or upsetting, try to stay neutral and use what has been said as a springboard to brainstorm solutions.
• Accentuate the positive. The conference is about finding ways of helping your teen be more successful, which can be difficult if the whole tenor of the conversation is purely negative. Maybe your teen is having some problems in school, but undoubtedly, there are some good aspects to his or her performance that can be celebrated. For example, your son’s English grade may be down, but he seems to be getting it together in biology. Or his English and biology grades may both be suffering, but he’s experiencing success in some out-of-school activity. By acknowledging the positives, you and the teacher may be better able to help him find strategies for overcoming the negatives.

Reprinted with permission from:  Communication Services of the Capital Region Board of Cooperative Educational Services in Albany, N.Y.